how not to enjoy yourself on a day off

on monday (yesterday) i took the day off. i was looking forward to it, as i did not have a break since january. it was a very special day. i could do whatever i wanted. and i made a list. and then i did not know which of these things i wanted to do andContinue reading “how not to enjoy yourself on a day off”

the power* of positive thinking

*power (Afrikaans) [poor, meagre or downright lousy] i like people who are positive or optimistic by nature. they seem somewhat naive, and are often totally out of touch with reality, but they are really, really nice to be around with, for a while. their delusion, that everything will be fine, gets to me. because everythingContinue reading “the power* of positive thinking”

lets add some cancer

i need to categorise things, to know what belongs where. and also categorise people, to know how to behave in different contexts. what to tell whom. and who to invite together. i don’t want to do that any more. but just because i don’t want to, my head is not so convinced. and now iContinue reading “lets add some cancer”

musings about “special occasions”

in south africa we are not allowed to buy alcohol during lockdown. it is not essential, they say. it keeps emergency departments empty and the death toll is down, because less people die on the streets. (nobody is on the street). it also boosts the black market. i personally would not mind if they keepContinue reading “musings about “special occasions””

it’s not all bad

i love lockdown. no need to find excuses (to self and others, but mainly self) to not go to things i think i want to do, because i have been trained well to think that the things other people like i need to also like. and if i am bored, anxious, exhausted or tired, iContinue reading “it’s not all bad”

oh dear, now i have to continue

having a blog means that i actually have to post things now. and suddenly the idea does not seem so good any more. i don’t have anything to say. why would other people want to know how i can do my head in? you will see the word meaningful in many of my posts. iContinue reading “oh dear, now i have to continue”

getting started: the procrastinated blog of an aspie woman

11 May 2020 today is a random day to start. it feels as if i have to write something significant. but that would mean that i can never start, because what is significant enough to start a blog?? i wanted the date to be a special date as well. either my diagnosis anniversary (too lateContinue reading “getting started: the procrastinated blog of an aspie woman”